MOST RATTLED ON TWITTER AWARD (other than “the fucking lot of yous” after the Broad announcement): Cropping off half his head and tagging the wrong account is soooo mum-coded. Jade Dernbach for doing a Mia Farrow (iykyk) and hastily googling a poor quality photo of himself with Stuart Broad to post in tribute. William Blake didn’t die an anti-industrialisation shagger for this.ĭavid Warner – giving huge pantomime villain vibes for the masses for years, we will miss you. The Barmy Army trumpeter and literally everyone singing Jerusalem over any over again shut up shut up shut up shut up chuck them all in a dark satanic mill. Runners up: Chris Woakes (always the bridesmaid), the umpires for giving us that lovely replacement ball, the small child who was cruelly denied his Gary Pratt moment. MOEEN MY BUDDY MY PAL, STARTED AT “ASHES? LOL” NOW WE HERE You know you love me, xoxo, Daisy Girlĭaisy Cutter “Where does Chris Tremlett Get His Shirts From Like They Must Have To Be Specially Made Right Like Those Proportions Are Not Human?” Awards for the Fifth Test of the 2023 Men’s Ashes Series Which former pro player told us after Day 1 that he doesn’t believe in the moon landings? I’ll never tell. That was the kind of content you’re reading this for yeah?Īlso this happened, which I don’t really have any comment on but it’s worth remembering as a moment in time:īLIND ITEM: Jonny Bairstow has the second highest Ashes series average* of any England keeper since the moon landings. Anyway I said this in a group chat the other day and due to my not having read the interceding messages everyone thought I was saying I fancied Andrew Strauss. In 2011 I had an ongoing beef with my boyfriend who absolutely could not believe I vaguely fancied Stuart Broad, who was “just a pretty boy”, the remark of a 22 year-old man who is definitely not rattled by his girlfriend casually thinking someone else is fit. “Friend” of the zine Chris Deeley tweeted a bunch of Broad moments for your enjoyment which is great because we couldn’t be arsed to pull anything together on the topic. Not naming names, but some girlies were literally crying in the street. Whooooooooo remembers when Take That split up and the girlies were so distraught they were crying in the streets, and *The Samaritans* set up a special helpline to counsel them? That’s what being on Twitter felt like after he announced it. Stuart Broad eh? HE FUCKING SWITCHED THE BAILS AGAIN AND IT FUCKING WORKED AGAIN. Got any thoughts on which fruits are okay to throw at someone and which aren’t? Let us know! Personally I would draw the line at medium-large citrus fruit after I once ruined christmas eve by throwing a christingle orange at my brother. All tired, aren’t we? Which is a shame, because it would have been way more fun than that week we spent discussing “what is catching a ball”. With apologies than the funny one is AWOL so you’re stuck with me, admin daisy.įeels like five years ago now but someone chucked grapes at Ricky Ponting and somehow this didn’t kick off days of intense, earnest discourse about which projectiles are okay to throw at pundits and which are off limits. WE WON WE WON WE WON I’M TYPING THIS PISSED IN THE PUB WE WON!!! WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK! SOMEONE GET ME SOME CRISPS.ĭue to “the horrors of being alive” I took sick leave from manically live tweeting most of the match, but still watched enough of it to make insightful notes like “Harry Brook bowling!” in a google doc (and accidentally bully Rashid Khan into quitting the Hundred) so here we are. Hold yourself back from “just screaming” for a few minutes as we’ve managed to churn out one more Daisy Cutter ashes review to beam into your eyeballs.
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